Category: Tĩnh nguyện

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” Ephesians 5:2 (MSG)

I’ve been on this earth for a while now, and I’m still convicted by God about how little I really know about love. The fact is, we all have a lot of growing to do as we continue maturing in God’s love.

So how do you build a life of real, deep love? You’ll spend the rest of your life trying to live out the answer. But I can give you some steps to get you out of the starting block—five things you can do this week that will help you get on the road to becoming a person of great love.

Learn how mature love acts and responds. Personal change always begins with a change in perspective. You need to get God’s perspective on what love is really like, because the world knows nothing about real, deep love. You gain that perspective by getting into God’s Word.

Start your day with a daily reminder to love. The first 10 minutes of the day set your mood for the rest of the day. Resolve to get up in the morning and say, “God, help me to remember that the most important thing is loving you and loving other people. If I don’t get anything else done today besides loving you and the people that you put around me, then this has not been a wasted day.”

Memorize what God says about love. God’s Word is filled with truths and principles on how to become a loving person. The problem is, when you’re in a situation where you’re tempted to be unloving, your Bible is usually at home on a shelf. That’s why you need to memorize Scripture, so that God can bring verses to mind when you need them the most.

Practice acting in unselfish, loving ways. Love is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it develops. If you want to become a truly loving person, then you have to intentionally do some things that may seem awkward at first. But the more you practice, the more love becomes second nature, and you become a genuinely loving person.

Get support from other loving people. If you’re just sitting in your room and reading a book, then you’re not going to get very far in learning how to love. You only learn love in connection to others, in the context of community. That’s one of the reasons why a small group is so important! It puts you in situations where you can grow, as you see godly love modeled for you and as you practice serving others in unselfish, loving ways.

You’ll never learn to love by just sitting in solitude. You’ll learn love in relationship with God and with other people.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Whatever is in your heart determines what you say.” Matthew 12:34 (NLT)

How does God help you with a bad habit of anger? He goes straight to the heart of the problem because it is a problem in the heart.

Anger doesn’t start in your behavior, your background, or your feelings. It begins in the heart.

The Bible says, “Whatever is in your heart determines what you say” (Matthew 12:34 NLT). Our mouths just reveal what we’re really like inside. Sometimes I hear people say something really mean or unkind, and then they say, “Oh, I don’t know what got into me. That’s not like me.”

Oh, yes it is! Your mouth just reveals what’s in your heart. Someone’s harsh tongue reveals an angry heart. When you meet somebody with a negative tongue, you know he’s got a fearful heart. A boasting tongue reveals an insecure heart. A judgmental tongue exposes a guilty heart. And a filthy tongue represents an impure heart.

On the other hand, if you find somebody who’s always encouraging others, she has a happy heart. If he’s always speaking in a gentle way, you know he’s got a loving heart. If she’s able to control her words, you know she’s got a peaceful heart.

Are you satisfied with the words that naturally come out of your mouth? If not, then you need a heart transplant. You need a new heart! David says in Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (NIV).

The real secret to managing anger is God’s power to change you on the inside. Romans 15:5 says, “May the patience and encouragement that come from God allow you to live in harmony with each other the way Christ Jesus wants” (NCV).

If your heart is crying out, it’s because you haven’t ever fully received the warmth and security of a relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus can replace a hurting heart with his love. He cares about your pain, and he will help you heal so that your words give life and reveal the hope you have in Christ.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“You made my body, Lord; now give me sense to heed your laws.” Psalm 119:73 (TLB)

It’s hard to love when you’re tired.

That’s right: Your physical condition has a strong impact on your relationships. Having energy makes a big difference!

What happens to your relationships when you’re run down? Things that are usually small issues become big problems. You may be crankier, more defensive, or more critical when you’re low on energy.

If you’re committed to becoming better at loving others, then you need to develop habits that refresh you physically. The Bible teaches many principles for health, but the three most basic are proper rest, a balanced diet, and regular exercise.

Rest. Psalm 127:2 says, “It is senseless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night . . . for God wants his loved ones to get their proper rest” (TLB). If you are too tired to love your kids, your spouse, or a friend, then your problem is first physical, not spiritual. It’s amazing how much better things look after a good night’s sleep.

Balanced diet. The Bible says, “You made my body, Lord; now give me sense to heed your laws” (Psalm 119:73 TLB). God provides wonderful delights for us to enjoy and savor. We are meant to enjoy food! But he has also given us wisdom to know what and how much is good to put in our body—and what is not. We just need to do it.

Regular exercise. “God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God” (1 Corinthians 6:20 TLB). To overcome fatigue, you must commit to regular exercise. Study after study shows that exercise doesn’t deplete your energy. It actually increases your energy.

God never meant for you to go through life exhausted. When you’re too tired to love others well, take a good look at how much you’re resting, what you’re eating, and how often you exercise. Then make better—and often more difficult—choices to take care of yourself.

You and those you love will only benefit in the long run.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8 (NLT)

We’ve been learning about how loving others the way God wants requires developing habits that keep you physically, emotionally, and spiritually renewed.

The Bible says real love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8 NIV). You can’t love people that way without God’s help. And you can’t have that kind of power when you’re running on empty spiritually.

You need to watch for signs that you may be headed for spiritual burnout. When that starts to happen, you may feel like nothing is worth the effort; even loving someone else may seem like too much. Or you might start blaming God for your problems.

These signs aren’t unique to you. Even many of the Bible’s great heroes, like David, Moses, and Abraham, did the same things when they were in burnout stages.

How do you maintain spiritual fitness and avoid spiritual burnout? It’s similar to how you stay physically fit: You have to be intentional and disciplined.

When you develop that discipline, the Bible promises that your spiritual fitness will reap eternal benefits: “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8 NLT).

No discipline is more important in developing spiritual fitness than spending regular time with God. In fact, the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:16 that, even if outwardly your body suffers wear and tear, inwardly you can be spiritually renewed by spending time alone with God. This can take just 10 minutes in your living room chair before your day starts. During that time, you can let God talk to you through the Bible and you can talk to him through prayer.

You need that time alone with God, because the quality of your relationship with God determines the quality of every other relationship you have.

Human love will wear out. But God’s love never does! To love more like Jesus, make your quiet time the number one priority in your day. When you do, your relationships will be transformed by the power of God’s love through you.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”  Proverbs 29:11 (NLT)

If you want to tame your temper, you must resolve to manage it.

You have to quit saying, “I can’t control it!” and realize that you can. Just like love, anger is a choice. When you get angry, you choose to get angry. Nobody is forcing you to get angry.

People often say things like, “You make me so mad!” But the truth is that nobody can make you mad without your permission. Anger is a choice, and you must choose to control it if you want to be a loving person.

You have far more control over your anger than you may want to admit. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you’re at home and you’re in an argument with somebody in your family. Your voices are raised, and you’re getting agitated. You’re upset. All of a sudden, the phone rings, and you answer sweetly, “Hello? Oh, yes! It’s for you, honey!”

What happened? You didn’t want to be embarrassed or have to explain, so you switched your anger off real quick. Anger is highly controllable!

The Bible says in Proverbs 29:11, “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back” (NLT).

Do you want to be a foolish person or a wise person? How you respond to a situation is your responsibility and yours alone. Anger is a choice.

The time to decide to manage your anger is not when your blood pressure is rising, your adrenaline is shooting into your system, you can feel the flush in your face, and your muscles start to tense.

At that point, you’ve already lost the battle.

Instead, resolve to manage your anger before you go into that meeting or walk through that front door when you get home. Decide this: “Today, I’m just not going to get angry. I’m not going to let things get to me.”

You manage your anger by first resolving—deciding in advance—that you’re going to hold it back.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Love means doing what God has commanded us.”  2 John 1:6 (NLT)

Because love should be central to our lives, we need to be sure to understand what love really is.

The Bible says love is a command. God commands that we love each other: “Love means doing what God has commanded us” (2 John 1:6 NLT).

Because God commands you to love, he also gives you the power and ability to do it! That means that love isn’t a feeling—because we can’t always control our feelings. Imagine saying to a crying child: “I command you to be happy!” That wouldn’t work, because we don’t have total control over our feelings. But God commands us to love, so that means we’re able to love.

The Bible says love is a choice. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 14:1, “Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it—because it does” (MSG). If you “go after” something, that means you make a choice. Love is a choice; you choose to love or not to love.

Many people try to justify a divorce by saying, “I just don’t love my spouse anymore”—as if that’s totally out of their control. But acting in love when you don’t feel like it is actually a higher level of love than when you do feel like it. It’s one thing to love when the flowers are in bloom, but the real test of love is in the winter, when things are not going great. You can choose to love others like God loves you, in spite of how you feel. You can give the other person what they need, not what they deserve.

The Bible says love is a conduct. Love is something you do. The Bible says, “Let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions” (1 John 3:18 TLB).

Every day God puts opportunities around us to demonstrate love. But most of the time, we’re too busy to follow through. How many times have you thought, “I need to make a call; I need to encourage that person at work; I need to help my neighbor,” but then you missed the opportunity because something else came up? Love takes advantage of opportunities to serve others.

The Bible says love is a commitment. The Bible says in 1 John 4:16, “God is love. If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God, and he will stay one with us” (CEV). Your relationship with God is greatly affected by your relationship with other people. If you commit to loving others, then you will stay one in your heart with God, and he’ll stay one with you—because God is love.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures.”  Mark 11:2 (GW)

When people hurt us, we have two natural tendencies: to remember and to retaliate.

But that’s not what 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us to do: “Love does not count up wrongs that have been done” (NCV).

So how should you respond to the people who have hurt you? How do you handle all of those wounds and hurts that you’ve stockpiled in your memory?

Don’t repeat them. Instead, delete them. Let the hurts go. Forgive, and get on with your life.

When we get hurt, we tend to repeat that hurt in three ways: emotionally in our minds, relationally as a weapon, and practically by telling other people.

First, we repeat it by going over and over it in our mind. But resentment is self-destructive. It only perpetuates the pain. It never heals; it never solves anything. Whatever you think about most is what you move toward. If all you think about is how much you’ve been hurt in the past, then you’ll only move toward the past. But if you focus on the future, then you’ll move toward the future. If you focus on potential, then you’ll move toward the potential.

Second, we repeat our hurt in relationships. We use hurt as a wedge and a weapon. We say things like, “Remember when you did that?” or “But you did this!”

The Bible says in Proverbs 17:9, “Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends” (TLB). Nagging also parts marriages and every other relationship you have. Nagging doesn’t work.

Third, we repeat our hurt by telling it to other people. It’s called gossip! We tell everybody else except God and the person with whom we have the problem.

Did you know that God hates gossip? He hates it as much as he hates pride—because that’s what gossip is. Gossip is pure and simple ego, or trying to make ourselves look and feel better. Every time you share gossip, you are being prideful, and God hates pride and gossip.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t repeat a wound so that it turns into resentment or gossip or pride.

Mark 11:25 says, “Whenever you pray, forgive anything you have against anyone. Then your Father in heaven will forgive your failures” (GW). This verse in the Amplified Bible says to “let it go.”

Love responds to hurt by letting it go.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too.”  Galatians 6:1 (NCV)

Everybody in your life is going to disappoint you at some point. Why? Because nobody’s perfect!

So how do you deal with disappointing people? How does love respond when people disappoint us?

The Bible says in Galatians 6:1, “Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too” (NCV).

The loving response to people who disappoint you is to be gentle, not judgmental.

How do you have tough conversations with people in a gentle way? How do you confront people you love when you see they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing? The Bible tells us to do it gently and with respect, not harshly or in a rude or mean way.

Here’s a little equation to keep in mind: Right + Rude = Wrong.

It doesn’t matter if you’re right. If you’re rude about it, then nobody’s going to care what you have to say. They’re just going to get defensive! If you want to get through to someone who has disappointed you, then you should respond in a gentle and loving way.

Proverbs 15:4 says, “Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (NLT).

We always have a choice in how we speak to somebody—especially with our kids. Have you found how deeply hurtful words can wound a child? You can scar them for years. But the Bible says that kind words heal and help. So when your kids mess up, don’t get on their case and tell them whatever you think they are at the moment. Give them a vision of how things could be! Speak words of life and health and hope into them, not harsh words of judgment. Be gentle.

It’s the same way in our marriages. How many marriage problems could be avoided if we just waited a beat and used words that are gentle and kind, not harsh or vindictive?

We need to learn to cut each other some slack and be kind and gentle in our speech and responses.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”  Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)

Some people always want their own way. They’ve got a right way and a wrong way to do something, and your way is always the wrong way. When you don’t meet their standards, they’re going to let you know about it. And it always seems you can never quite please them.

So how do you respond in love to demanding people?

The Bible tells us that patience comes from perspective: “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV). The more you understand a person—their background, battles, and burdens—the more patient you’re going to be with them.

We often look at people and think, “Look how far they have to go.” But we don’t stop and say, “I wonder how far they’ve come?”

Maybe they were raised in a family where they had no model of kindness or courtesy. Maybe they grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and it’s a miracle, really, that they made it this far.

What are the burdens they’re carrying? They may be sick. They may have a family issue. They may have just lost their job. There are all kinds of battles and burdens people carry that you and I don’t know about.

Proverbs 19:11 tells us to overlook offenses. Do you overlook offenses, or are you offended by offenses? Are you so touchy and irritable that you’re offended by anybody who looks at you funny or forgets to say something or doesn’t see you? Love lets it go.

The Bible says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31 NIV). Love is understanding, not demanding—and it’s what you would want others to do to you when you’re having a bad day or don’t feel well or are carrying heavy burdens.

Does that mean you’re just supposed to let people run over you? Do you just let them push you around? Do you act like a doormat, cave in, and let them say whatever they want?

No. Here’s the key: Be tender without surrender. Jesus never caved in to manipulators—the religious leaders and Pharisees who were extremely demanding and legalistic. They had all kinds of demands that they themselves couldn’t even keep. But Jesus did not let demanding people push him into a corner.

He was tender without surrender. That’s what you call love in action.

By Rick Warren – Source: nhulieuthanhkinh.com

“A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is.”  Proverbs 16:21 (GNT)

Have you noticed how many difficult people there are in the world? Some days, do you feel like you have to deal with most of them?

We all have our own mental lists of rude things other people do that bug us. Here’s my list: People who call me and then say, “Who is this?” People who honk their horns in traffic jams. People who cheat in the 10-items-or-less grocery line. People who steal your parking spot.

The list goes on, and I’m sure you can relate. So how should we respond in love to difficult people?

Proverbs 16:21 says, “A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is” (GNT).

The more pleasant you are, the more persuasive you are. And you’re never persuasive when you’re abrasive. Nagging doesn’t work.

The way you say something determines the way it’s received. If you say something offensively, it’s going to be received defensively. That’s why love considers your words. Love is truthful, but it is also tactful.

The Bible says it like this: “Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ” (Ephesians 4:31-32 CEV).

Tact and tone always go together. The way you say something, not just what you say, matters.  You can say something very difficult for someone to hear, but if you say it in the right tone—a loving tone—it will be received much better.

A loving response to a difficult person requires you to be pleasant and tactful.

Think of it like this: If you want to be below a difficult person, attack him. If you want to be even with him, get even with him. But if you want to respond the way Jesus would, show that person love with the words you say and the way you say them.